These Infinite Spaces

Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised that the band broke up - all the signs were there. A deep rift had developed in the band. On one side were Bird and Steve, and on the other side was Andrew, Justin and me. The three of us had grown close over the last couple of years. As we got older, we hung out together quite a bit, going to the occasional party, but most often going to see bands together.

I remember seeing Spy vs Spy, Boom Crash Opera, Johnny Diesel and the Injectors, Noiseworks and lots of others I can't remember. Noiseworks were our favourite band - we must have seen them 6 or 7 times. They seemed to us to be virtuoso musicians, and were making the sort of music that we were trying to make. I'm not sure why Bird and Steve never came to these gigs - perhaps no-one invited them, or perhaps they felt too old to hang out with us. Anyway, the rift developed, and manifested itself in lots of arguments at rehearsal. It was starting to not be fun.

A further circumstance put Bird on the outer. In the two and a half years since we'd formed, the band had grown tremendously, but Bird had not kept up. We were now doing band comps with experienced bands, and they kept telling us over and over again, "You guys are good, but your singer is not up to scratch." We grumbled about this amongst ourselves.

Even with all that, I don't know that we would have kicked Bird out of the band. But much to our surprise, he pulled the trigger himself. He was working now, and he began to frequently miss rehearsal, claiming he was too tired or had things to do. Steve would also plead off if Bird wasn't going to be there, so this left Justin, Andrew and I struggling on without a singer and keyboardist.

We argued with Bird about this, but he was unmoved. Things got very heated over a few weeks. Finally Bird said, "I think we should break up."

Like I said, I was shocked. But it wore off pretty quickly, and Andrew, Justin and myself got together, seeing this as an opportunity to create the band we wanted. Drama was to follow, though. Adam had really meant, "Let's take a break", and maybe he even meant, "Show me that you want me." After a few weeks he discovered that we were looking for a new singer, and he was devastated.

His parents, who had been managing the band, rang everyone and called a band meeting to sort things out. I found this peculiar as Adam had quit and we were moving on without him. They saw things differently. The meeting took place at their house.

As it happened, Justin couldn't make it to the meeting and had to bow out at the last moment. That left the four of us with Bird's parents. Steve had sided with Bird, and Andrew spent the night doing his best impersonation of a turtle. That left me to explain what had happened, and I foolishly tried to put forward our case. Bird's parents tore strips off me and I finally walked out - angry at them for what they said, and with Andrew for not backing me up.

One thing it did - any pity I had for Bird evaporated. I didn't see him much for a while, and then bumped into him at a pyjama party at Carmen's (of all places!) We chatted for a while in a friendly manner, so I hope bygones were bygones for both of us at that stage.

Anyway, immediately after the meeting Justin, Andrew and I began seriously looking for a new singer and keyboardist. The search would strain our relationship more than anything before or since.